Ten Things

1. If you’re going to be grow a double chin and lose your hair, go ahead and become a career man. The rest of us will not miss you.

2. If you’re NOT over 40, a cowboy, an actor, or on a safari- Don’t wear hats.

3. If you don’t need glasses, don’t wear them. There’s no need for more asshats in the world.

4. Re-tweet, share on Facebook, or whatever my posts. The world will be a better place. ❤

5. Telling other people how much you like them is not the best way to make people like you. Just be cool, if you are, we’ll like you.

6. There’s never enough oral sex in the world. Blowjobs = joy.

7. The line between fun and complete mess is very thin. Let’s all watch our step.

8. Social media is great, but it will never give you a blowjob, tell you it loves you, watch a movie with you, or eat popsicles with you. Just remember that.

9. Smoking pot is cool, but smoking too much pot is not cool.

10. Masturbating to static images is the new black.



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