More about Jesus tomorrow, but for now….

Dear People Who Push the Close Elevator Door Button Compulsively,

It doesn’t do anything. You’ve lived your entire life thinking it does. You’re wrong. Okay?

You’re welcome,



Dear People Who Breath Heavily With Their Mouths Open All Day,

Why hasn’t there been a genocide targeted at your kind yet?




Dear People Who Sing At Their Desks All Day,

See above. ^^^^^ (Genocide)




Dear People Who Didn’t Like The Strong Coffee I Made This Afternoon,

Get over it. Make your own if it’s that important. You use non liquid creamer anyways so you probably don’t really care about how your coffee tastes.

Suck it (hard),


Dear Paz de la Huerta,

Why don’t you text me back?




Dear People Who Get Block Lanes at the Intersection of Bissonet and Montrose Everyday on my Way Home From Work,

Words cannot describe the amount of pain I would like to inflict upon your family as you watch and cry and wait your turn at edge of my knife. May your death be slow and painful.





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