Spiritual Practice of the Week

This week’s spiritual practice is lying. Some people think lying is bad. Some people lie all the time. Those people are called pathological liars. You might already know one. :/

Sometimes telling untruths can be bad. “Woe, did you murder those orphans back in 1998? The terrible bus fire? It broke my heart.” If I did murder the orphans ( I’m not saying I did) denying that I murdered the orphans would be a lie. It would be a bad lie. Just remember if you kill someone or rob a liquor store or do both at the same time, you can be held accountable for your actions and lying in court can get you in trouble. Try to avoid all that jazz.

I want you to lie to someone today. This person can be a friend, a lover, or just someone on an elevator. People only need to know what you want them to know. When you curate the information that constitutes your social identity, it’s easy to manipulate and control that information in hopes of getting what you want- and that’s what it’s all about, right?

You might want to start feeling bad- that’s dumb. I’m not going to make you murder anyone. We’re only taking baby steps. If you feel reluctant because you think you’re a good person or whatever, we can start with very insignificant lies.

For example,

A: Oh my goodness. I love your shoes. Where did you get them?
You: I got them at Target. Thank you.
(You got them at Payless)

Harmless. Changing information for the sake of changing information. Nobody gets hurt. It doesn’t seem to serve a purpose now, but it might later. Let’s try another one.

A: Hello friend. What did you do this weekend?
You: I had a fun time cleaning my house and painting birdhouses.

(You took ecstasy and danced with a bunch of hot 18 year old girls, but you missed out on hooking up with them in the bathroom because your friend picked a fight with the bartender)
A: That sounds like fun.
You: It was

(It was)

It’s still harmless. Information is just another one of your possessions. It’s free to be used and abused as you see fit. If you start digging yourself into a hole, please don’t email me and complain about how you ruined your life. It’s your deal. Personal fucking responsibility.

Now get out there and lie.

Next week we’ll talk about masturbation, drinking, or push ups.

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