Brief Notes on How to Be a Social Media Dude

-Like everything. You want everyone to like what you do, so you need to make sure you like what everyone else does. I am referring to the act of liking something via social media (clicking) and the feeling of liking something in your brainwaves. If you don’t really like it, pretend. Say, “I love how this…blah…blah…blah.”

-No negativity. By negativity I mean constructive criticism. People are too sensitive for constructive criticism, they will interpret it as negativity. “The third act needed help? Some friend you are. See if I retweet anything you post asshole.” There are a lot of crappy things around us, there’s probably more crap than quality- IGNORE IT

-If you must make fun, don’t you dare make fun of us. Making fun of things around you is cruel and inappropriate of you. “Yes we have a sense of humor, we loved it when you lampooned the Vice column, but how could you say that about Dave? You cruel heartless fucktard.”

-Have fun. but not too much. You are a social media dude, you can’t have your behavior twitpiced live from the gala. Those who live in obscurity and ignorance are allowed to delve into belligerent depths, but not you.

-Know your place. You are a middleman. You are a middleman. Now go retweet someone’s article and say you love it.

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