Wanted: Love>>>> NO NOT LOVE, A REAL Slave

We here at the shape of junk to come / my general life are currently seeking a remote love slave to join our team. I make enough money at my job to afford all my stuff, but fuck it is boring and dumb. Your kind generosity/self-defacement could fuel my creative endeavors and well being. In exchange for your services, my girlfriend will take pictures of herself smiling and send them to you via snail mail with hand written letters thanking you for the money and for your continued service humiliating yourself in the pictures you send us.

Ideal candidates are:
-Probably fat
-Probably hairy
-Incredibly wealthy
-Devoid of dignity/ or just into it.
-Have access to a mailbox and or email.

Duties Include: Hurting yourself and taking pictures of yourself while you do that, sending me money, buying my girlfriend things on Amazon, sending me more money.

If you would like to be considered for this position please mail pictures of yourself strangling yourself covered in chocolate syrup to 1045 Harvey St Houston, TX 77098. These pictures must be accompanied by a check for $1000 dollars. US currency only please. Checks for under that amount will be cashed regardless.

If you’re rich and into sadomasochism, you can’t afford to miss this opportunity.

@woejozney

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