Job Search: My Pool Boy Resume

Goal: To do a mediocre job cleaning your pool and a medium to good job potentially pleasing you as a young (22) lover boy.

Skills: Pool stuff, swimming, being on the internet, picking up your dry cleaning, doing your laundry, pole dancing, cunnilingus, guitar, cleaning toilets, reading poetry to you, social media n’ shit.

Build: Chunky but loveable.

Tan: Needs work, but that will take care of itself while I lay by your pool.

Hair: Pretty good in my opinion.

Turn ons: Foreign films, porn, cooking, breasts, behinds, a good sense of style, a reasonable amount of grey hair, lonely housewives, Marlon Brando movies, Paul Newman movies, women’s basketball, wine, wine, and WINE!

Turn offs: Fat chicks, complaining, not being paid enough, drug use (not all, just meth), reality television, cottage cheese, dogs (all pets actually), Christianity (excluding Catholicism)

Software: MS Visual Studio 2010, Microsoft Office Products, Access, WordPress, Joomla, Xcode, Adobe Creative Suite, Drupal, Final Cut Pro.

Work Experience
Long John Silvers- Fish Expert/Cashier
Paper Boy- Self Employed
Goldman Sacs- Professional Gold Miner
Dan’s Bath House and More- Milk Courier and Dancing Professional

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