In The Future….

-Correspondences between famous writers will contain an alarming amount of lulz, roffle, HAHA, w3rd, yo, sup, ❤. The people of the post-future-future will deem us functionally retarded yet incredibly efficient. They will also wonder what the fuck a LOLCAT is.

-Trans-humanism will kill the philosophy star.

-Community will be the new Arrested Development.

-The nanobots implanted into our genitals will become aroused when they look at Glitch Girls. I’m already aroused, are you?

-We will find far better ways to numb ourselves than alcohol and television.

-Urban Outfitters will sell old digital point and shoots and all the hip kids will get them for their “vintage-digital-feel.”

-Iphones will be our primary source of sexual fulfillment.

-We’ll be dead and nobody will care.

-At work we’ll drink diluted serotonin and Vitamin Water (50-Cent Formula) instead of coffee. Suddenly… everything feels okay. And okay is good enough for us.

-Art is dead. Aggregating is the only way. Tumblr is the only website we access. (Our email goes straight into our brains, no need to log on)

-We finally get those pills that give us the extra 4 inches, but they give us cancer, but we cure cancer, but it’s on the day the machines rise to harvest our dreams to turn into batteries.


Everything will be pretty much the same and shit still won’t work and we’ll keep saying “it’s 2025, the fucking internet should work. Fucking buffering. Fucking Netflix. Fuck the future.

Who knows

    • rbabb
    • March 11th, 2011

    I am laughing and sobbing into my paper cup of diluted serotonin and Vitamin Water.

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