Job Tips for the Young and Hungover: the Guide to Business Slacker Casual

1) Tennis shoes. Always.  Boots are for when you go to the bar and want to look sexy in your denim button up. Colorful vans make the workplace a happier place and help you retain what remains of your youth.

2) Workflow. Alternate spreadsheets with typing new blog ideas in your notepad. Get on Facebook, Twitter, whatever, but just for brief/glorious periods of time. Never work too fast, people will give you more stuff to do.

3) Job Security. If anyone asks you if you’re busy enough, always say yes. If they finally discover that you spend all day on the internet, simply explain that you’re young and gifted- you are able to work at a rate 5-10 times as they do. Because you really do. Seriously, who the fuck right clicks to select copy and paste?

4) Attendance. 9:30 is a good time to show up, even though the administrative assistant shows up at 8:00. Everyday, when you show up at 9:30 she hasn’t even made the coffee, so what the fuck is she doing ? Jeez laweez. Never work unpaid overtime, if people can’t get shit done 5 days a week for 8 hours a day, it’s their fault they’re incompetent and/or senile. Leave around 4:30 most days, don’t forget to take long lunch breaks.

5) Communication. Don’t use big words, don’t be critical. Just smile and be casual, business slacker casual. Your boyish charm and improvisation skills will get you whatever you need, unless you don’t have those, then I don’t know, figure it out.

6) Clothes. Just because everyone else wears slacks doesn’t mean you have to.

7) Work. Be good at it, but make sure you don’t ever care about it. This is the true Yin and Yang of the business slacker casual worker.

May the Vans be with you.

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    • Robin
    • February 8th, 2011

    Seriously, if you haven’t gone through at least a pot of coffee in an hour and a half of work, you just aren’t getting shit done.

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