Woe Jozney’s Party Juice

Hey Yallz,
I’m here to tell you about a new and exciting business opportunity.  The shape of junk to come is releasing its very own party drink.  That’s right!  A party drink!  Are you sad that 4 loko has been recalled?  Are in you withdrawals from cough syrup, caffeinated alcoholic beverages, or various other drugs?  NO BIG DEAL!

Introducing, Woe Jozney’s Party Juice.  This drink is the bomb.  It’s got a lil’ 5 hour energy in it, plenty of cheap scotch, a little bit of Tylenol PM.  Depending on what day of the week it is, it may even have some sudafed in it, the good kind, you know the kind that has the ingredient people use to make meth… none of the fake shit.  I hand bottle this shit- so you know it’s good!

I got a printer and one of those label kits from Office Max, this shit is gonna explode!  There’s no stopping us.  All I need from you is a one time investment- just one time!  Only 500 dollars!  You’re like, that sounds too good to be true!  It probably is, but then again I’ve been drinking party juice all day!

I also need some of those short but kinda hot asian girls to take my party juice to the clubs and distribute it.  If you know some, send them my way.

Thus far side effects include: Permanent erections, night terrors, being late for work, never going to work, erectile dysfunction, lactation in men, hair loss, and a general need to watch children’s television.

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