Broetry: Hazed, by Chris Stein

Drunk, blindfolded, naked.
I smell Old spice,
hear Lil’ Wayne,
and feel cold beer on the cold cold ground.

Who’s a Maggot?
“We are Sir!”
Who wants to eat dog shit?
“We do sir!”
Who wants to feel my balls on their face?
“We do sir!”
Who’s gonna lick the buscuit?
“We are sir!”

Give me your man eggs!
Give me your dog shit!
Make me your bitch for this fleeting moment in our glorious lives!

I will plunge this queer dagger deep into my straight straight heart
I will accept my brother’s tender flesh upon my cheek
I will do whatever it takes for
lifetime
fucking
connections.

When I am cool
and I mean really cool
I will make other people feel my balls on their face
and eat the biscuit that bears my soul.

For life is merely a snake
devouring its own body
floating in the endless river of Steel Reserve
and lifetime
connections.

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