So now that I’ve been working full-time for an entire week, I think I earned the right to step up to the plate and start recommending some minor management changes. I have a feeling I can make everyone just that much happier. Or just myself.

1- No waking up before 9am. The people who live far away can wake up early because they have to drive, I do not, so I’ll be in at like 10. It’s not like anything gets done in the morning anyways

2- I want to look at Not Safe For Work Stuff. I want to get on my sites. My productivity would skyrocket if after an hour of spreadsheets, I got to watch a funny vid and return to work. The lady next to me gets to talk to her husband about Bristol Palin on the phone for 30 minutes, why can’t I have my cake too?

3- Five days a week is lame. 4/3 is much more in line with sacred geometry. Work 4 days, get 3 off. We’re gonna be there next week, what’s the big deal?

4- Make coffee in the afternoon too- some of us drink at night and feel bad when we wake up, but then we feel bad at 2pm too, so we need another pot of coffee ready. I’d make it, but I don’t know where the filters are. Plus, isn’t that the girl in the front’s job?

5- Nap breaks. I just want a 30 minute powernap right before the 2pm pot of coffee you should be making. If I can’t watch porn at work, at least let me have a weird dream and recharge my being at some point in the day.

6- Drinking. This is far fetched, but everyday I still wake up and feel depressed that I don’t live in an episode of Mad Men. An afternoon cocktail after the power nap and 2pm coffee would give me a good buzz/mad productivity.

7- Hotter Girls. Self Explanatory

That’s it for now, I’ll think of more next week.

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