Career Oppurtunites

We are currently looking for:

Hot Dog Specialist II

Maintain proper hot dog levels in the shape of junk to come office.  Work with a variety of meats including beef, turkey, pork, and for the veggiez, tofu.  Some graphic design, but mostly distributing hot dogs.

Requirements:

BA, food sciences or related

1-2 years experience handling hot dogs in a blogging environment, or related

Expertise in mustard, ketchup, relish, buns, mayo is optional

Microsoft office skills; typing 80WPM

Multitasking making dogs while using a telephone to handle orders

Computer Whisperer

Use your telepathic/otherwordly powers to communicate with desktop computers and convince them to stop crashing and work properly.  Must be able to whisper printers, fax machines, and Oracle servers.

Requirements:

5 years basic professional mentalist experience

2 years telepathic work in a Windows 7 environment

Wiccans a plus

Online certificate from website verifying powers

Basic hot dog knowledge a plus

Microsoft office expertise required, including Microsoft Spellbook 2010

Choreographer – Part Time

Choreograph a weekly dance featuring the HR department.  Dances will open and close all staff meetings on a weekly basis every Friday.  Coordinate the video taping of the dances and the uploading of those tapes to Youtube.  Use social media to distribute videos of dances all around the world to bring joy to lots of lives.

Requirements:

10 years experience as a dancer in a national company

5 years experience as a choreographer in Ballet, Modern, Jazz, and the pop-n-lock stylinz

Attractive a plus

Basic hot dog knowledge a plus

Microsoft office expertise required

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  1. Too bad I was never with a national company or I’d be a good HR-department choreographer.

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