Things Richard Dawkins let me know.

So, my mom had an extra ticket to go see Richard Dawkins talk at the Wortham tonight.  I went and he mostly described the chapters in his book and answered 3 questions.  It was okay, but he really did clear some things up for me.

1. The Veggie Tales Aren’t Real.  We evolved from monkeys, not veggies.  Language was NOT a trait in vegetables, especially not biblical vegetables.  Monkeys know sign language.  It all adds up.

2. People sound smarter with a British accent. On an overall level.  I personally find it painful.

3. Ugly people know there isn’t a god.  If there was a god he wouldn’t have made you the way he did.  FYI, Richard Dawkins talks look like a great place to meet Fat/Ugly/Wizardish singles.

4. Bats’ ears are so special.  Kinda knew it already, but I did not grasp how special the bats’ ears were.

5. Homosexuals aren’t real.  Natural selection does not account for sword on sword action.

6. Progressive Texans will clap when a British person insults their state.  Thanks, I had no idea your country was so advanced compared to the United States.  Yeah I ride my horse to work, and until I read your book, I did think dinosaur bones were tricks of the Devil.  Thank God (ha) you came along Mr. Dawkins.

7.  People will pay a $100 to listen to people read from a book they own for an hour.  I’m not being fair, they also got to take photos with their iphones.  Thank god for press tickets.

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