Cathartic Facebook Translated

1)

John Doe has to remember to run towards something, not away from anything. Easier said than done…

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John Doe keeps trying to run into my door way while I open it simultaneously so that I can make this really cool youtube video, but my dog is chasing me.  I keep focusing on the dog, but I should be focusing on the door, fuck this is easier said than done.

2)

Jane Doe: I never wanted you. I never wanted to.

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Jane Doe: wasn’t even hungry, I had a decent lunch.  But you smelled kinda good and I was in a weird mood after talking to my mom so I ate you, you fucking hot dog.  Are you happy now?  I didn’t even want you, the mustard was okay, I never wanted to.

3)

Jane Doe: I’m tired of mistakes.  I’m done with it.

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Jane Doe: I’m really dumb and can’t pass my math tests.  Always mistakes in my algebra!  I could study, but I’m busy drinking with my girlfriends.  There is no way for me to conquer math.  I guess there’s only two paths, suicide and hairdressing school.  I’ll guess yall will find out tomorrow which path I take.

4)

John Doe: tried.

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John Doe: tried to get Jane Doe to accept me into her heart, but then there was that whole herpes thing and we got tested and it was my fault, and I’m sorry, but you still have my Holga and I really wanted to take some art-pix this weekend, so try to give it back by Friday please.  I tried.

5)

John Doe: if you don’t love me, why are you still here?

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John Doe: I wonder why I keep you locked in my basement.  I know I have enslaved you sexual purposes for 4 years, but I don’t think you love me anymore.  Your eyes don’t look the same through your gimp mask.  Maybe I should let you go.  You’ve changed.  It just isn’t the same

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