When I grow up

The shape of junk to come is doing some school outreach programs with K-12 kids.  For our first installment, we asked them what they wanted to be when they grow up.

Davey King

When I grow up, I’d like to be a waiter.  I thought that astronauts were cool but my parents said not to get my hopes up and showed me the challenger video a couple times- I’m convinced.  I wanna serve people at a BJ’s in San Antonio for $2.00/hr.  On Fridays, I’ll make good tips.  College seems expensive so I don’t want to go.  I’ll learn the food service trade at my local McDonalds.  Someday, my poor kids with be able to goto college and learn a real trade and change the world, but I don’t think that I can.

Sarah Sharp

When I grow up, I’d like to be a dancer.  I took ballet classes, but my mom said I can’t go anymore because it cuts into her cigarette budget.  I’ve been watching Katy Perry videos and I’m pretty sure if I keep practicing, I can end up a classy strip joint by 18.  I hear strippers can make $300 a night.  Hopefully that combined with my future husband’s Starbucks salary will be enough to support our children.

Freddy Hamm

When I grow up, I want to be a Wall Street billionaire.  I want to take poor people’s money and save it to buy big swords and dinosaurs and a secret volcano lair for myself when the end times come.  My dad says Barack Obama hates Wall Street, and that I should do everything in my power to defeat his socialist ways so that I can get rich and buy dinosaurs, he’s taking me to my first rally this weekend.  I made a sign, “Obama Bin Laden hates children.”  Not sure why, but my dad likes it.

Brad Price

When I grow up, I wanna sell drugs.  Weed, Ecstacy, Yayo, you name it.  I’m only 9 and I don’t do drugs, but shit, all my favorite rappers talk about is drugs, and they’re rich!  I wanna be rich too.  I looked into going to school and stuff, but that costs money.  I want those greenbacks nowww dawg.  Fuck what my parents said.  I’m a student of the game, well actually a student in 3rd grade, but I will be once I get to middle school.  Hell yeah biotch.

Katy Wilson

When I grow up, I wanna be a secretary.  I wanna wear funny suits and lots of lipstick and say “no the pleasure is mine Mr. Schaffer.”  I see all the secretaries do it on TV, and then the boss takes his pants off and keeps hugging her.  Maybe he’s trying to shake quarters out of her.  I don’t know, but it looks like fun.  I can’t wait.

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