top 10 things to do instead of watching Glee tonight

The shape of junk to come was on the facebook today.  It wondered if all the status updates were about being happy… or if they were about watching a perverted show about awkward (gay, chinese, fat, you name it) people rising above adversity by using auto tune and getting each other pregnant.

Don’t watch Glee.


10) Watch Nova.  It’s made by smart people.  It’s about science.  7 out of 5 doctors recommend Nova over Glee for preventing terminal shit-for-brains syndrome.

9) Get drunk and make fun of your gay son.  It’s okay, now that Glee is on, he feels comfortable with who he is… right?

8) Start your own glee-club.  Just kidding!  I wouldn’t wish that on anybody’s neighbors.  You’re nowhere as talented as television can make people seem when they have millions of dollars.

7) Learn more about upcoming candidates in the election.  Just kidding!  Keep watching Glee and vote for whoever Sarah Palin endorses, I’m sure she endorses Glee!  Just vote for Glee.

6) Read a book!  But books don’t have auto-tune…  And… the fat, gay, and black kids get beat up instead of singing songs… that sounds depressing.

5) Watch funny vidz on the internet.  I’m **** and I support this message.

4) Take a Tylenol PM, goto bed early, and have crazy dreams.  I guarantee it!  Makes for great breakfast conversation with your lover.

3) Sit on Twitter and read other people’s tweets about Glee.  In between you can get some work done or watch porn or whatever.

2) Write mean-spirited stuff on the internet.  (Right??? Yeah??? Like…)

1) Watch Glee, ironically.

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