Ask a Radio DJ Anything…

Hey Yall, Dirty Dan here from 107.9 the DIRT.  Bringing you the best advice from Houston, Texas, home of the rocket shit, woah yeah, woah nelly, send in your questions and I’ll give you the DOWNNNNN LOWWWW

Dear Dirty Dan the Radio DJ,

I have been somewhat happily married for 14 years and lately my husband seems distant.  He usually stays out once a week with the “boys” but lately he has been staying out four nights a week.  He says he’s bowling, but I have called the bowling alley when he says he’s bowling and they say his name on the intercom and he isn’t there!  Is he having an affair?  What am I supposed to do?  How should I begin a meaningful conversation with my husband about his whereabouts, loyalty, and the future of our relationship?  I’m not erratic, I’m just concerned.  Thanks,

Worried in Wisconson.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HEYYYY WORRIED IN WISCONSON!

UR ON THE AIR!!!!   (CHICKA CHICKA SOUND)  SO… YOUR HUSBAND HAS BEEN OUT… I WONDER WHAT HES BEEN DOING (HONK-HONK).   BOWLING ALLEY?  IF YOUR HUSBAND IS BOWLIN STRIKES I BET ITS NOT AT THE BOWLING ALLEY(WEE-WAA-WEE-AAA(police siren))  GET MY DRIFT?!?!?!?!  THIS IS DIRTY DAN ON 107.9…THE DIRT!  GIVIN YOU THE DIRTIEST DETAILS!!!!!!  WAIT… WE HAVE ANOTHER CALLER…YOU SAY YOU’RE A 17 YEAR OLD PROSTITUTE WHO HAS SEX WITH MY FIRST CALLERS WIFE?!?!?! (CRAZAY HONKING NOISES FOLLOWED BY A SLIDE WHISTLE SYMBOLIZING A BONER)  YOU SUCKED HIS WANG WHERE?!?!!?!?  AT A JIM CAREY MOVIE?!?!?!!?  WOAH NELLY!  HOUSTON WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!(ROCKET NOISES FOLLOWED BY DJ SCRATCHES)  ALL CAPS LOCK!  HERE WE ARE! MEGAN FROM MISSOURI SAYS SHE SUCKED UR HUSBAND’S WANG FOR JUST 50 BUCKS!!! 50 BUCKS, I CAN’T EVEN GET MY CAR DETAILED FOR THAT MUCH (HUGE AUDIENCE ROAR OF LAUGHTER)!!!!!

LOOK LADY, LOOKS LIKE YOUR HUSBAND IS GETTING HIS WANG CHUNG(CHINESE MUSIC CUE) SUCKED BY SOME DUMB BUMB (AUDIENCE SAYING AWWW CUE).  GET URSELF SOME YOUNG MAN MEAT BABY (BOINGGGG SOUND SYMBOLIZING A YOUNG BONER).  IF YOU DON’T ALREADY KNOW… DIRTY DAN FROM 107.9 THE DDDDDIIIIRRRRTTTT IS AVAILABLE, AND I SWEAR I DON’T HAVE HERPES…(AUDIENCE LAUGHTER CUE)…. AND IM OUT!!!!!!!!!!

(CUE TURNTABLES, EXPLOSION, FART NOISE, FEMALE ORGASM CLIP, GUITAR SOLO, AND EXIT MUSIC)….

Advertisements
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: