Hurricane Earl forces tourists to leave

At approximately 8:00 EST, Hurricane Earl walked into an east coast Marriot.  Witnesses say he smelled of tequila mixed with dog shit with slight overtones of marijuana.  He approached one woman at the hotel bar and asked her if she’d like to get lucky and alluded to the fact that he may or may not have a couple ecstasy pills.  The woman turned him down and he tried to order some drinks.  The bar tended tried to refuse to serve him, but he pulled out a hundred dollar bill and said he doesn’t fuck around.  He then tried to convince everyone in the bar to join him in a game of charades.  When he was denied his request, he stuck his middle finger up the nose of a patron and said “two words: Fuck you!”  Security was deployed and a Benny-Hill style chase scene started.  He managed to sing all the words to at least three Fleetwood Mac songs before he was apprehended.  Earl was ejected from the hotel and sources say he may or may not be terrorizing more businesses in the area.  Hurricane Earl has arrived ladies and gentlemen, change your tourism plans.

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