Eat Love Pray to God I don’t snap your neck

Jason Statham tweeted some rather bold news this morning.  According to Statham’s twitter profile, “got role in #EPL seql, more motocycles, more blood.”  The associated press approached Statham for a more in depth explanation.  “As you know, I was in the Expendables which completely destroyed Eat Pray Love at the box office.  As I am the most badass of the cast members in the Expendables, Ryan Murphy, the director of EPL, sent me a facebook message about appearing in the sequel that very weekend.  I was like I don’t do romantic comedies.  But he said I got to choose not only the amount of motorcycles I could ride, but also the number of sniper rifles, slowmotion gun battles, helicopter explosions and the amount of totally hot chicks I get to bang.  It’s a dream come true.  It’s like finally my artistic side and my badass side can be reconciled in one film.”

Murphy says the sequel will not be based upon the actual book sequal to EPL by Elizabeth Gilbert.  “It’s boring, everyone knows that.  The Expendables was not based on a book and it shows.  Abs, Explosions, Money.  I don’t know what I was thinking.”  Bardem has agreed to be in the picture as long as he gets to play the exact same character he did in No Country for Old men.”  Jason Statham vs. Javier Bardem.  It’s the movie No Country was supposed to be.

  1. See now, THIS is a movie I would go see. As long as Julia Roberts isn’t involved.

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