Fruit smoothies nearly ended my life

So, big changes guys. I had given up everything in search of smoothie salvation. I was making smoothies yesterday, maybe a little bit too drunk to be working, but anyways, I slip on this frozen mango and the blender flies out at full speed and lands on this dog, still spinning. The dog is shredded to bits and the owner comes at me and starts trying to strangle me with his dead dog’s leash. A police officer sees this from across the street and fires at the man strangling me, the bullet hits me in the foot and I yell. Luckily, a little bit of the blood from my foot squirts up and blinds my assailant. The cop runs off and the dog, still nervously twitching despite the lack of a head, starts clawing at me. The story goes on and on but…

….fruit smoothies nearly ended my life.
I’m going back to way things were.
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