monologue #1: Me explaining something to an officer.

“Look officer, I can explain. I know it looks weird, all this blood, all this fur. I really can’t explain why I killed all these cats. The last thing I remember was driving to work and I had to drive past the concert hall where the Lady Gaga concert was going on. I saw all the fans outside and you would not believe… This guy had this white fur coat on and all this blue makeup on his face, and this plume of feathers that erupted from his spiked hair. And this girl, she was just covered in these bubbles, and she was so fat, I didn’t know what to do… my blood felt like molten lava, my hands started shaking. I started screaming and that’s where I faded out. When I awoke I was in my car, with these 12 dead cats, 23 stolen ice cream cones, and one kidnapped child dressed as Lady Gaga. I know this doesn’t make a lot of sense, but have some sympathy, I mean the white fur coat?”

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