My mom told me I need to be anonymous in case I need to get a real job where they look up my blog and stuff. So I thought I’d like to let yall’ know who I am… my name is Bob Jones. I work for Chevron, have three kids, love “So You Think You Can Dance,” drink a lot, think my wife is sexy but would really take a chance at fucking her sister, hate my kids, really hate my dog- in fact sometimes I have dreams where I drown it in that fucking swimming pool my goddam wife wanted me to build…. sometimes I wear my wife’s panties and sing Talking Heads’ songs, it’s the only way I can get hard anymore…..

….so if your name is Bob Jones and you work for Chevron…
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