On this day…

Abraham Lincoln and George Washington met at the great salt lake and decided to start a great country by killing indians and enslaving the Chinese. “We’re gonna need railroads,” Lincoln said. “I agree. We’re also gonna need guns, cotton, and modern medicine,” said Washington. They hired Ben Franklin to invent those things and electricity and started having duels on the reg. A bunch of Mormons moved to Utah so they had to bail and move the capital to Washington DC, which George Washington named after himself because he was an arrogant dude. They fought some wars, invented money, and now, however many years later, we have flags, trucks, hot dogs, and reality television.

Happy fourth of July.
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