Meeting of the Jesuses

Transcribed from earlier:

Original Jesus: Welcome Jesuses! We are gathered here today to discuss the next month in jesus-ing. Gay Jesus, you are first to speak on the agenda, what say you?”
Conservative Jesus: “Now holdon a minute, why does gay jesus get to talk first? You know how I feel about queers, and I wont…”
Texas Jesus: “Yeah, I agree…”
Drunk Jesus: “Heyyy, doesss anybody havee a cigarette, I need to step outside…”
Cigarette Jesus: “I do, Here.”
Drunk Jesus: “Thanks mannn.”
Gay Jesus: “If you will allow me to speak, first on the agenda I would like to show pictures from my wonderful commitment ceremony with Anderson Cooper. Here you will see…”
Conservative Jesus: “I can’t watch this.”
Samuel Jackson Jesus: “Would you shut the fuck up, motherfucker? No one gives a fuck what you think.”
Gay Jesus: “Agreed, and we will be honeymooning in Spain next month, so I won’t be at the meeting.”
Hispanic Jesus: “I am finished with the backyard, I’d like my check now.”
Original Jesus: “Of course Jesus, here you are.”
Arizona Jesus: “Is he an illegal, can we check his papers?”
Progressive Jesus: “Back off man, he has every right to his privacy and I won’t have your facist policies in here. I won’t stand it.”
Conservative Jesus: “Shut up Progressive Jesus, go drink a latte and make green energy with Gay Jesus.”
Original Jesus: “Would everyone please be quiet!”
All Jesuses: RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE
Samuel Jackson Jesus: “EXCUSE ME, THE MAN SAID BE QUIET! SO WOULD YOU ALL BE SO KIND AS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I STICK MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU WILL HAVE SHOELACES FOR HAIR!”
Original Jesus: “So our next order of business is….”
To be continued.
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  1. I think you need to incorporate Stoop Jesus and Frat Boy Jesus

  2. how could i forget???Frat Boy Jesus: Jager bombs for all?All: AgreedDrunk Jesus: fuckkk yeahh broooFrat Boy Jesus: where is stoop jesus?OG jesus: on the stoop of course

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