Ways to survive moving home with your parents

1. Drink! heavily. Pot is so college. Get a real man’s vice.

2. Eat! A lot. Food is comforting. You’ll feel a lot better about not having a job with pint of ice cream.
3. Watch movies. You may be tempted to goto the gym and get in shape, but you need time to think. Upgrade your account and remain sedentary.
4. Meet locals. Don’t branch out. This is where you’re from. Find comfort in the amount of weight the football team gained while you were at college learning.
5. Go looking for younger women. People with jobs date their age. Hang out in your old high school’s parking lot and poach those 17 year olds.
6. Start a cover band. Your creative fuse has burned out. Start learning Stone Temple Pilot covers.
7. Rediscover your love for pornography.
8. Change goals. Start training for an arctic trek, or start your dance career. Do something that will not yield immediate results.
9. Smoke Pot. Ignore what I said above. Hang out with the local teens and smoke pot all day. This will distract you from any pressing “real world” problems.
10. Reality Television.
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